Love how you came back to the plane, at the end. One day when my girls were young and I was home alone, I cried with longing for wanting to be an artist, but didn't know how. I only knew what not being an artist was. So I made a deal with myself (privileged yes) that in the hours when the girls were at school I would NOT: shop, clean, talk on the phone (pre-internet) go out to lunch with friends (that's a bit harsh)... and would let myself be curious and bored, waiting to see what I might want to do...that was not those other things. After a month, I knew what I wanted to do... after two months, I was an artist.
Goodness, dont know how you keep the phone on plane mode when all those things you listed in paragraph 5 (or 6 if you count Just for a llitle while as a para), but I'm glad you do. Just for a little while.
I like the poetry of this one, the rhythm of it, the breathing room. I feel you choosing yourself and it gives me a sense of peace. Today I feel the to do list crowding in and my writing pushed to the side, whispering. I had the thought of, just do a post for Sarah. It helps to think of writing for one person.
I really love how this reframes “being unavailable” as an act of care rather than withdrawal — choosing airplane mode not to escape life, but to actually return to it. The tension you name between presence and fear feels especially honest, that quiet anxiety that something might happen the moment we step away, and yet the realization that constant availability slowly pulls us out of our own lives. There’s something peaceful in the way you describe reclaiming small, ordinary moments as enough for now. I’ve been writing about something similar — learning to live more fully in the present without letting fear define love or attention — if you’d like to read it here: https://theeternalnowmm.substack.com/p/eternal-love?r=71z4jh
There’s a powerful poignancy in the anxiety moment you produced here. If you turn airplane mode back off… that it’s anxiety whether you turn it off OR on. Such an efficient turn of a concept.
Love how you came back to the plane, at the end. One day when my girls were young and I was home alone, I cried with longing for wanting to be an artist, but didn't know how. I only knew what not being an artist was. So I made a deal with myself (privileged yes) that in the hours when the girls were at school I would NOT: shop, clean, talk on the phone (pre-internet) go out to lunch with friends (that's a bit harsh)... and would let myself be curious and bored, waiting to see what I might want to do...that was not those other things. After a month, I knew what I wanted to do... after two months, I was an artist.
This is so inspirational, Donna. I relate to it so much. In the end, we must pay attention to the longing - we must feed it! xoxo
Goodness, dont know how you keep the phone on plane mode when all those things you listed in paragraph 5 (or 6 if you count Just for a llitle while as a para), but I'm glad you do. Just for a little while.
I fail most days, but I try and then I try again.
I can understand why, given where you are living.
I like the poetry of this one, the rhythm of it, the breathing room. I feel you choosing yourself and it gives me a sense of peace. Today I feel the to do list crowding in and my writing pushed to the side, whispering. I had the thought of, just do a post for Sarah. It helps to think of writing for one person.
Yes, please. Write one for me. I'm always hoping for one! And thank you, I thought of your poems when I was writing it. xoxo
I really love how this reframes “being unavailable” as an act of care rather than withdrawal — choosing airplane mode not to escape life, but to actually return to it. The tension you name between presence and fear feels especially honest, that quiet anxiety that something might happen the moment we step away, and yet the realization that constant availability slowly pulls us out of our own lives. There’s something peaceful in the way you describe reclaiming small, ordinary moments as enough for now. I’ve been writing about something similar — learning to live more fully in the present without letting fear define love or attention — if you’d like to read it here: https://theeternalnowmm.substack.com/p/eternal-love?r=71z4jh
There’s a powerful poignancy in the anxiety moment you produced here. If you turn airplane mode back off… that it’s anxiety whether you turn it off OR on. Such an efficient turn of a concept.