April Offerings

Hi Friends,

I’ve dived head first in perimenopause and I’ve lost my mind. There I said it.

I am not sleeping now, for reasons that I cannot comprehend other than my body is going through some sort of metamorphosis. I’m hoping I don’t turn into a large bug in 15 years, which is how long this whole thing should take according to my friend Mari Jo.

I have so many thoughts this week on love, on trying to hold onto joy while trying to understand each other and show up for each other when the unthinkable happens. When a child’s body is decimated by an automatic rifle, that shouldn’t have been sold, to someone who should have been seen a long time ago. And how we argue about what or who is to blame but I think we can all agree that no child should be killed, in any country, while learning to read. I have thoughts on all this. How do we cultivate joy despite this sorrow? And how do we turn it into action which comes from a place of love. Despite exhaustion? despite, insert here, whatever gritty, hard, beautiful thing you are navigating in your real life today.

I think joy can live and grow amidst sorrow and uncertainty. It can actually sit right next to all the hard things and it can lighten the load if we notice it. We have to pay attention to it though, and that’s the tricky part - it’s often quiet. Like hearing your daughter snore and fart at the same time while on hour three of insomnia. Actually it wasn’t that quiet.

I am reading Dr. Erin Baker’s book Joyful AF this week and they share some thoughts on how joy is actually an inside job and not based on external circumstances. Happiness on the other hand is external and very fickle. If this is truly the case; than it’s on us to allow joy to arise from within, by seeing it, and naming it. I recorded a poem above for you by Barbara Ras, called You Can’t Have It All and I love it for all that it sees! All the joy that is available and how personal it is. It brought me to tears but I think that’s also the peri meno and I’m not mad at it for that. I love tears when reading poems.

I also wanted to offer this video I saw yesterday which I felt like summed up how I feel about what we should truly be aiming towards. In it Oprah shares that We should have only one goal, to fulfill the highest, most truthful expression of yourself as a human being…you want to max out your humanity Let that sit with you for a minute. Just max out your humanity. Max out your ability to love, to sit and listen, to feel compassion and empathy, to allow yourself to rest, to make things like dinner and cookies…max it out my friends. Lean in and find the grace that comes with letting go of everything else. Just hold onto love. It’ll steer you straight.

On a lighter note, Marlee Grace of Monday Monday shared a playlist several week’s ago that I have had on repeat. If you never came around to country in the 90’s than this may be a leap for you (and I apologize) but if you, like me, want to roll the windows down and have the wind make your hair into a cyclone every time you hear a Jo Dee Messina song than this is your ticket to some nostalgic joy right here.

If you’re looking for more good things to read:

Holly Whittaker wrote a really sharp post on mistrusting yourself because of the internet, check out her Substack, Recovering here.

If you’re looking for some collage to make your heart beat faster (I’m talking serious palpitations) check out Serra Sewitch Posey’s Substack, The Raccoon here. She’s an incredible artist and writer. I’m going to be reading her memoir My Heart is a Whale next month. If you want to join in let me know!

And lastly, today’s poem came from Maggie Smith’s, Substack For Dear Life post, Poems that Make you Glad to be Alive. Check it out for the full list of goodness.

Lots of love,

Sarah