my sister the mermaid
a weekend in SLO; differences and love sitting right next to each other
I just spent the last three days in the small town of San Luis Obispo (nicknamed SLO by the way - I couldn’t have dreamed that one up). Being with my sister, alone and in person, something we’ve talked about for years felt like being on another planet; a smidge (actually larger than a smidge more like a heap) disorienting and profoundly peaceful at the same time.
Our first day we went for a hike near Pismo and I just kept looking over at her and feeling this joy that I was walking right next to her. My sister is also really beautiful and so looking at her in person is like drinking in morning air. I’m not kidding. That may read as romantic but seriously her hair is like a mermaid and she towers above me, floating forward with this long easy stride…I may have been imagining it but it seemed like she had to stop often for me to catch up. She does so graciously like you might imagine a greek goddess would; patiently waiting in the sunlight for you to follow them to a spring of water or something. I am the oldest but my sister has always had more natural beauty, ease, and self assurance.
This was the hike near Pismo. A field full of goats was making short work of all the wild mustard on the hillside and morning glories were growing everywhere. If you look you can see the great pyreness guarding his flock, he was such a good boy, just stared at us peacefully and was not distracted in the least by any of the people pointing and taking pictures.
We spent most of the hike talking about our children and whether or not we should really be afraid of being bitten by a rattle snake and henceforth be making them afraid of being bitten by rattle snakes. As in how many people in California actually get bitten by a snake? I still don’t know the statistics on that one so feel free to let me know.
The best part of the weekend for me was discovering that we seemed to be running parallel and very symbiotic weekend away operating systems. For instance we both quietly headed to the hotel last night at 6:00pm. Plopped into the hotel room. Got into our pajama pants. Made a cup of tea and only then remembered (maybe even at the same time) that we actually hadn’t agreed verbally (i.e. out loud) that we would not be going out to dinner and so we checked in with each other. Delighted and a little bit suspicious that we were in agreement; indeed Yes! the best way to spend the evening would be in our sweatpants staring at the ocean, talking about new and amazing ways to love our children and eating gluten free cookies and yogurt for dinner. It was a little spooky. And a little amazing.
All of this symbiosis and ease is all the more miraculous because my sister and I are complete opposites when it comes to politics. Many of our views on spirituality are also as different as different can be; some would say opposing. But here’s what our relationship has taught me; different doesn’t at all mean opposing. My sister and I do not agree on many, many things. And yet I call her every almost everyday, because she is one of my favorite things currently living and walking around on this planet. The deeper operating system that resides within us, the one that runs off of love (and a desire to be in sweat pants by 6pm) not a belief or opinion (which hopefully will change and grow over time), overrides everything else because we let it be our primary operating system. Love; it’s good stuff. And if I get curious about my sister’s beliefs and want to speak deeper, I can listen to understand not to diminish or change. It takes intention and deep breathing, because our stuff always comes up right, but it’s possible. And if I’m lucky I get to have that talk sitting next to a mermaid and drinking in the morning air. If I’m lucky.
Good Things to share:
This weekend’s conference lead me to Amber O'Neal Johnston who’s speech is still ringing in my ears. She is something truly beautiful when she speaks from her heart. A leader and a story teller of the most magic kind. We also do not agree on all things spiritual but that was what I loved about the whole experience. She speaks so eloquently on love and differences sitting right next to each other. If you are a parent or even just a person trying to walk through this world with love and grace with your eyes wide open you will undoubtedly fall in love with her. I did. I would highly recommend checking out her talks that she has linked on her website.
Lastly if you’re ever in SLO go to Nate’s on Marsh for dinner. The food is amazing, the service loving, and the particular shade of green they painted everything obsession worthy.