your heart wants the mic

I am in the process of a deprivation experiment this week. I'm not usually about deprivation. It's not my jam but the rules are as follows: you don't read any books, articles, news, social posts or listen to any podcasts / watch tv etc. It's been 24 hours and honestly, I very naively, thought it wouldn't a big deal. And then I KEPT reaching for my phone to check all the things; scrolling zillow for that perfect house, finishing reading that article about that "interesting person doing that amazing thing", researching parenting questions I have about eight year olds (it's a tricky age) etc. Basically every single free moment I had I was looking OUTSIDE myself for answers or inspiration. And here's what I very quickly realized; we're handing the mic to everyone else all day long. We give AUTHORITY to everyone else all day long. It's as if we're looking for our own truths in somebody else's mouths. Hoping if someone else says it and we recognize it as true for ourselves then it can be valid and worthy. But our hearts want the mic friends - and I think sometimes we have to quiet that audience down and dim those house lights to really hear what it's trying to say...even if, maybe especially if, what it has to say isn't going to be easy to hear.